Ohhhhh, weaning *sigh* I feel this is a tricky subject because everyone has a different opinion. When most of us think of weaning, our minds go to the cold turkey weaning that happens when families switch to formula, whole milk, or regular foods. Weaning a toddler is very different from this.
Toddlers start the weaning process as soon as they start eating other foods. For my children this meant establishing boundaries as well. Sometimes it would be as simple as “five more minutes.” Other times I would say “when mommy is done with her coffee” (meanwhile secretly refilling the cup). Both girls and I did a gradual wean, a large part due to tandem nursing. Around 21-24 months I would cold turkey our night nursing sessions (i.e. night wean/ing). Llama took this super easy, Lucy did not, and Baby still throws a fit to nurse at night despite night weaning.
When I decided to night wean her, I put a T-Shirt on before bed (to avoid any accidental nursing sessions). Llama accepted the cup of water in place of a nursing session and immediately went back to sleep.
Comparatively, come Lucy’s turn to night wean, things didn’t go quite as planned. The first night was THE WORST. She screamed for 3+ hours. I would hold her and remind her that she could nurse when the sun comes up, but she DEMANDED to nurse. I felt like the worst parent ever; a total failure. I just couldn’t handle nursing all night long anymore. Thankfully, I stood my ground and she went back to sleep after the long battle. Prepared for another battle the next night, I was pleasantly surprised when she huffed and puffed for only 20 minutes before peacefully falling asleep again. Night three, she politely asked me twice to nurse, was told no, took a sip of water, and resumed her slumber.
Which brings me to Baby, oh dear sweet boy. Around 6 weeks ago (he was 18 months) I realized I was losing my sanity nursing him over night. I slipped on my trusty T-shirt, and tucked him into bed. I was expecting Lucy level drama. The first night he took his water begrudgingly, cried a little, and went back to sleep. Throughout the last few weeks, this child has been begging and crying EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. he wakes up. I feel like he is nursing more now than ever before during the day. (Wish me luck, we will still be day nursing for quite some time).
I digress. As these kids get older, they start substituting more and more things for their nursing sessions. As such, the demand for milk is less and the supply begins to follow suit.
After nursing for three years, I finally told Llama that she would only get one nursing session a day. Though she could choose when. Once she nursed, she would get a sticker for the calendar to remind us that she already nursed that day. Slowly there were fewer and fewer stickers on the calendar, our journey was closing.
One day, she got a giant splinter under her big toenail. The doctors warned us they may need to cut into the toe to remove it. Upon telling Llama this, she asked about nursing. I remember thinking how scary this could be, so I offered her an extra session that day. She sat so still while the doctor scraped away toenail with a scalpel; such a brave baby. Once we returned home, we had the following conversation:
L: Mama, remember I didn’t nurse at the doctors. Can I nurse now?
M: Of course.
*Five minutes later she happily pops off*
L: Alright, I’m done.
M: Okay, you can nurse again tomorrow.
L: No, mommy, I’m done forever.
That was the last time my Llama nursed. Lucy doesn’t have quite the dramatic story, I didn’t even realize she was done until it had been a week since our last nursing session. She was just over three years old. I distinctly remember the feelings that I had after ending my nursing journey of five years with the girls and the difficulty that I had adjusting to the new way of parenting without breastfeeding. Though Baby is still latching on a million times a day I know that it won’t last forever. Part of me is looking forward to the end of this journey, but the other part is dreading the end of the era.
Weaning doesn’t have to be all at once, or as dramatic as drying up. Sometimes it happens gradually, sometimes your baby just knows they are done. No matter what, follow your heart, your instincts, and do what works for you and your family.
